Dear Cosmo,
I have written ‘Munky’s Step-by-step Guide to Great Sex!!!’ I hope you will publish it. Thank you.
1)Don’t have a funny vagina.
2)Don’t read Cosmo.*
3)Repeat 1 and 2 until you actual gain a bit of fucking self-esteem and learn to enjoy yourselves.
Then you can fill your pages with hot man-on-man action, because girls like that shit, too.
Thank you,
Munky
*I have it on good authority that inserting an ice cube into your husband’s arsehole is grounds for divorce. ‘Good authority’ being common sense, you arsing fuckwits.
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Reinventing the lost fucking art of letter writing.
Blog Archive
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2005
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February
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- Dear mountains,
- Dear consumers of fast food,
- Dear hot caffeinated beverages,
- Dear road grit,
- Dear William Faulkner,
- Dear Camden,
- Dear Sainsbury's,
- Dear cancer,
- Dear Mr Munky,
- Dear my former roommate,
- Dear snow,
- Dear Special K,
- Dear Mr Munky's shit trousers,
- Dear Mr. Pete Doherty,
- Dear boys who hit on me,
- Dear Brett Anderson of Suede/The Tears/heroin fame,
- Dear the London 2012 Olympic bid committee,
- Dear Cosmo,
- Dear leather,
- Dear awful bloke in Café,
- Dear today,
- Dear Camden Council,
- Dear Mr Munky,
- Dear Kentish Town,
- Dear Amy Winehouse,
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February
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About Me
Friends
- Bwil loves nasty hookers. (Brian)
- G loves boobies. (Gary)
- Hannah loves hot man-on-man action. (Hannah)
- Jeff loves coffay. (Jeff)
- Jess loves beers. (Jess)
- Ryan loves Jess. (Ryan)
- Shad loves nothing. (Shad)
- Shelly loves me 'cause she's my sister. (Shelly)
- Steph has an unnatural love of trees and gets naked on the internet because she has low self-esteem (Steph)