Dear 13 year olds who ask me for a ‘smoke’ or a ‘light’,

Dear 13 year olds who ask me for a ‘smoke’ or a ‘light’,

Although I don’t approve of children smoking fags, I must always oblige your requests because otherwise you’ll punch me in the head and set me on fire. My rationales are completely selfish, but at least it will prevent The fucking Sun from running a ‘tragic’ story about my ‘tragic’ death from a ‘tragic’ addiction.

Cordially,
Munky