Dear Readers of The Daily Mail,

Dear Readers of The Daily Mail,

As a ginger-haired American who has permanently settled in the UK, it seems that I am the 'acceptable' face of immigration. This has been easily gleaned from the many conversations (read: blazing arguments) I’ve had with people on the subject. Without fail, a phrase similar to, “You’re OK, you’re an American,” will be spluttered from their piggy Daily Mail reading little mouths, as if my being white and an English speaker makes the tiniest bloody bit of difference.

Now, I’m not saying that a lot of the anti-immigrant sentiment comes down to racism…oh, silly me, yes I am.

As an immigrant, I pay taxes and National Insurance, yet I have no recourse to public funds. If I lose my job or lose my legs, it is prohibited (yes, actually illegal) for me to pocket or request a single pence in help. No jobseeker’s allowance, no disability, no dole for me – just a big fat £000.00 weekly check made out to ‘Immigrant’. Fuck all, zero, nil, nothing. I pay in, but I am disallowed to get anything out. And those, folks, are the facts on immigration. So how is it again that these backwater fuckwits bleating on about immigration are shouldering my existence in this country?

Rubbing up against copies of The Daily Mail in the hopes of spreading my immigrant spores to the drooling masses,

Munky